Bedding the Walls: folding floors

*IMPORTANT ~ video has low lighting, PLEASE WATCH in dark environment*

PUMPING BLOOD!

Not
RUBBER!

I need you to understand ...something
I need you to know that this_is
*something else*
A N D whatever-it-can-be-called:
the Tiger's-Mouth!
the Monster's-Balls!
the Dirty-Diddler!
the Sick-Dick!
the Pin-Prick!
the Old-Man's Lick!
the Creepy-Uncle ~ Keith whispering:

"RUB-HER!"
"RUB-HER!"
"RUB-HER!"

Not
RUBBER!

PUMPING BLOOD!

Not
RUBBER!

I need you to understand ...something
I need you to know that this_is
*something more*
A N D whatever-it-can-be-called:
the Pedo-Creeper!
the Master-Peeper!
the Major-Freaker!
the Chub-Chet! or better yet ~ just "Chetter" (as in cheese)

"RUB-HER!"
"RUB-HER!"
"RUB-HER!"

Not
RUBBER!

PUMPING BLOOD!

Not
RUBBER!

I need you to understand ...something
I need you to know that this_is
*something new*
A N D whatever-it-can-be-called:
the bite that left no marks
the skin that's scared forever
the invisible beauty spots
the pretty pre-hole popped
STOP! STOP!

"RUB-HER!"

STOP!

"RUB-HER!"

STOP!

"RUB-HER!"

STOP!
STOP!

PUMPING BLOOD!

Not
RUBBER!

STOP!
I'm frightened to say things that i don't need to say,
and I'm scared that the only choices are words or silence
and I need you to understand something...
...I'm standing right here!
I'm all pretty in pink and my pajama's have feet,
my skin smells sweet
and my five-year-old hair is blonde & bouncey.
I'm not very tall, but I'm strong and I'm spunky.
My muscles are lean, my body is healthy, but I'm frightened.
I'm scared that the only choices are words or silence
I'm frightened to say the things that i don't need to say.
And yet, I wrote this for you,
and you, and you and you!

Not
RUBBER!

PUMPING BLOOD!

Not
RUBBER!

PUMPING BLOOD!

Not
RUBBER!

I need you to understand ...something
I need you to know that this_is
*something old*
A N D whatever-it-can-be-called:
I am standing right here!
my body bleeding in the memory of his tricks
the snap of his whip, the sting of his ring,
the blood on my cheek, the flush in his face and the fat of lips.
His stubby little finger tips fall to a place between his legs and I watch.
My eyes are wide open, my body is frozen, and I feel stiff, nervously or weak
I watch as all ten of my Uncle's fingertips start to quiver and shake
His finger traces a line on my neck, from the top of my head to the back of my waist.
Relax my Uncle tells me and points to the place where another giant cookie chip fell in his lap.
Naturally, my tiny arms reached for the cookie, both eyes now focused on the feast,
my hands blind to the beast (my Uncle Keith) as he said to me,
"Holly, come here little one, there's a special place for you to eat your treat."
And then Creepy-Uncle Keith whispered the words:

"RUB-HER!"
"RUB-HER!"
"RUB-HER!"

Not
RUBBER!

PUMPING BLOOD!

Not
RUBBER!

I need you to understand ...something
I need you to know that this_is
*something raw*
A N D whatever-it-can-be-called:
I am standing right here! Still, my body bleeds from the memory. STOP!

But I am standing right here! Perhaps certain memories don't erase, since I still see my Uncle's face, and recall how he placed peanut butter cookie chips at my feet and then hide more in my pockets or how he spaced the balance of treats across the top of his lap. He spread them out so carefully then said I could play with his cookies or eat them if I liked. And so I reached out and felt. . . his stubby fat fingers

STOP! STOP!

"RUB-HER!"

STOP!

"RUB-HER!"

STOP!

"RUB-HER!"

STOP!
STOP!

PUMPING BLOOD!

Not
RUBBER!

I need you to understand ...something
I need you to know that this_is
*something creepy*
A N D whatever-it-can-be-called:
I'm still standing here!
but I need you to know something more about Uncle Keith,
the stench of his body
the stink of his teeth
the odor of grease in his hair
the limp in his walk
the stubby little fat finger-tips
the layers of peanut butter cookie chips and all that cultural censorship
that's what he shoved inside me.
Inside my pretty little pink pussy lips.
I need you to see her, I need you to see the little girl, the child; i'm standing right here!

*Skin scars are forever* I wrote this for you

Not
RUBBER! RUBBER!

*That's all you need to know.*

I wrote this for you

I wrote this for you and you, and you. . .

Not Not
RUBBER! RUBBER!

Not

PUMPING BLOOD!
RUBBER!
that's all you need to know
This is bad.
He's clearly an evil monster
who likes to eat Cookie Cuter cuties
Birthmark

my cute little curves
my body blind
and the Beast
Pumping blood
blind to the beast
the buttery body
and breath that eats
Cookie Cutter Cuties

.
(*filmed by Galvin Halm)
Your Host: Holly Eskew

Host's Message:
Concept for the Archive Fever performance is somewhat bricoleur, it involves assembling fragments of identities and personal histories from the women who performed at UAG during 80's (pre-internet era) and then staging a performance for an autobiographical narrative based on the women's collective archival documents. The idea is to let script become a way to look back collectively and examine women's art from 80's, (when home video cameras happened & time prior to electronic media explosion 90's/internet). My aim is to recover a narrative on textual boundaries and find UAG women artists who's contributions either blurred the boundaries between "private" and "public" spheres or constructed art as a site of resistance.

Think narrative as the diary of an artist who told all the old stories used to inscribe a socially constructed autobiographical script. Text includes my personal experience from the pre-internet era, as well as multimedia text and videos appropriate for adapting narratives along the way--pointing to women who draw on personal archives and autobiographical narratives in a collective memory and to those political transformation in later years.

What: PUMPING BLOOD! ~ Archive Fever

Where: UCSD's University Art Gallery
located at West end of Mandeville Center on the UCSD campus, La Jolla, CA

When: March 4th, 2011, 7pm

Links:
event.pingg.com/PumpingBloodArchiv
Uag Ucsd
Archive Fever

j vimeo.com/20790563

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