The Best Indie Filmmakers


Started this movie in Nov 2009. This is the final cut I made in March 2015.

A movie about a friend (Andre) helping a friend (me) make a movie about the friend's ex-girlfriend (KWAK).

F R O M a to k,
"I am very very VERy sorry that I made this movie about you. And I'm sorry that you had to be the girl with whom I had my first kiss. I mean, for me it was an incredible moment, just like Wwow. But it must've placed such an annoying pressure on you. And someone really should've stopped me from asking you to move in with me. You seemed to like the idea when I asked you though. I guess you were looking for some kind of a new start. And perhaps we shouldn't have gone all the way out to France (for the film festival). I mean, I loved every part of it. It's the one time (so far) that I've ever been on a vacation, and with a girl, so, you know, I finally felt like I'd taken some major step towards becoming a grown-up. I figured even our down moments were just natural in the course of two potential lover type people getting to know one another. I was totally in denial though of what really was going on, namely that I was the unbearable type (a man too square, too lame, too whatever). Or rather, I knew all about that, but kept hoping you'd like overlook the shortcomings (mine/ours), and in time I/we'd snap out of it, turn into a hipper than hip couple (as hip as I could be), if that's what you really wanted (I don't think that's what you really wanted). As I saw it, you just wanted to be honest about things. So, I figured, hey, I could still stay square, and you'd go along with it. I felt like maybe you found it charming to some degree (maybe not). We'd known each other only for a year by then, before going away together. At most we were only somewhat friends, who had kissed a bit, and attempted to do the other stuff, but cuz of my squareness, I couldn't get too far in that territory. Anywho, I'm sorry that I kept forcing myself into your life in those weird & awkward ways, wanting you to be my girl, wanting myself to be your guy, sending u blatant declarations of love, via txts, handwritten letters, in short movies. I mean, if I was on the receiving end of all that sappy, loud-hearted stuff, I'd like totally skip town, one day to the next. So… I do thank you for tolerating me. First gift I ever gave you was 'Umberto D.' Then I had Agnes Varda sign a 'Cleo from 5 to 7' for you. And cuz u saved all my letters in a shoebox (u showed me that once, up in ur closet, tucked away behind some of ur shoes), I figured maybe all my expression of love was a right thing for me to do, that you found it charming/meaningful/reassuring. I was wrong to wanna replace the men in your life, who I'd always write off as not the right kind of guys for you, as though I was any kind of right. Must've been something about me, something repulsive, most likely my teeth, or at times bad breath. I've gotta get that fixed. I was born with bad enamel construction. I know me making this movie must've come across as such an insult to you. And then I asked you to watch it, cuz I needed your blessing, real bad. Mostly I just wanted you to laugh at it, to laugh with me at it, to let bygones be bygones, and we'd go on leading our separate lives, to part on a good note. Sure, maybe I did want some revenge, to get the last laugh, the last blah blah hurrah. I'm sorry about that impulse. And I'm sorry I never did enough to see things from your perspective. Now that I've got my own struggles with anxiety, I can finally imagine your side of our story. Every time you'd plead to me for space, I'd just never get it. I'm sorry about all that, for being so goddamn thickheaded, so oblivious to your feelings. Me at your place that night watching this movie was the last time we saw each other. Some days later you sent me a txt asking me to remove your name from the film's title, and I wrote back, as bluntly as I could, 'I'm sorry, it's done.' I should've done you that favor. And I'm sorry that I didn't. Just know that I really care about you, and hope that someday we can be friends again. So, take care, adios, peace out, your pal, always, Ahmed."


KWAK trailer
KWAK trailer



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