politically, atomically and ecologically incorrect. i live a high-tech low life, cutting edge state of the art multitasker and i can give you a gigabyte in a nano-second. i'm new wave but i'm old school. i'm a hot-wired ,heat seeking ,warm hearted, cool customer, voice activated and biodegradable. I'm a raging workaholic, a working rageaholic. i read junk mail, i eat junk food, i watch junk movies. i'm gender-specific and user friendly. i eat fast food in the slow lane. i'm toll free, bite size, easy to wear and i come in all sizes. i'm a fully equipped, medically authorized, hospital tested, clinically proven, scientifically formulated medical miracle. i've been pre-washed, pre-cooked, pre-heated, pre-screened, pre-approved, pre-packaged, post dated, freeze dried, double wrapped and vacuum packed. i'm a rude dude but i'm the real deal.