It seems cruel, but Michael just has this intuitive way of cutting diagonally that gets the most blood with the fewest expensive emergency room trips. He only has his reputation to blame.
Dear Michael: This is the 5sf Joke Approval Committee. We wanted to write to congratulate you on the acceptance of your new joke, "I shoot myself through the skull and let loose a post-mortem fart in a pool of my own blood!" We are sure it will be an excellent addition to the archives, and look forward to future contributions from you. Sincerely, Brian Firenzi.
The parents took him to small claims court and he proceeded without a lawyer, basing a case on the proof that their children had more fun with him than they ever did with them. After the "not guilty" verdict, he celebrated by taking the all-child jury to Chuck E. Cheese with a coked-out stripper as his date.
Also brought to you by Subway, Clearasil, The Sick Fascination Foundation, Wrigley, Taco Bell, and General Motors.
He woke up 5 minutes later, having had the craziest dream. All he could remember, as it started to fade from memory, was having been chased by a giant baby in leather chaps, whispering that he was fired. As he cleared the spit off his chin, he noticed that everyone was looking at him funny and Mark, that slimy ladder-climbing intern, was walking into his office with a box of desk supplies and tchotchkes. Then he knew.
5 New Seconds of Laffs, Confusion and Terror - Every weekday of your otherwise meaningful life.
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Calling for entries: INTERNATIONAL STUDENTS CREATIVE Award 2014,
Organized by Knowledge Capital, Osaka, Japan
The International Students Creative Award is an international award contest for both Japanese and foreign university, graduate school, and vocational school students in the fields of art and information media.
Knowledge Capital’s mission is to promote “industrial creation, culture dissemination, international exchange, and human resource development”. The purpose of the International Students Creative Award is to discover and nurture the creative ideas and talents of today’s youth to enable them to become tomorrow’s stars on the world stage.
Selected films and the film makers will be invited to attend the award ceremony, and pre-event party in Osaka in November 2014, with free air tickets and accommodation.
Winners of the award could win prize money up to US$3000 plus other prizes. Your creative work would also gain great exposure at the event and in Japanese media, and media industry.
Last year, winners from Korea, Indonesia, Singapore, Hong Kong, France, and Spain had joined us for a wonderful award event together with other Japanese student creators.
We are now calling for entries for this year’s INTERNATIONAL STUDENTS CREATIVE Award. Kindly download the application form and send it to email@example.com, together with any questions you may have by
AUG 19th 2014.
• Application form download: bit.ly/1qQgcTL
• ISCA Application Guide download: bit.ly/1qFDhXD
• ISCA Official Website: kc-i.jp/en/award/isca/
• Corresponding contact for overseas applicant: firstname.lastname@example.org
• For applicants outside Japan, please include a URL to your video when you fill in the Title. No DVD submission is needed at this stage.
• You may also submit as an individual instead of a school, kindly fill in the school portion to your best knowledge.
We look forward to seeing your creative works.
Overseas application correspondent
My first one-minute student movie I realized as part of my 4th year at supinfocom school (made like a teaser) feel free to visit the IZBOR's
Tomorrow from 7:00PM at The Book Club, EC2. Screen Social Features a night of triumphs in student film and music. In attendance are a wealth of tip top directors + a live set from WILDEAST! - all proceedings go to Shelter Charity.
Kicking things off we have Design Starts Here by the wonderful Elias Freiberger.
Come along, to check out more!